stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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