Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
