Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
