So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
