party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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