Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
