I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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