Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize