You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
