take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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