When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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