You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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