i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
