he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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