**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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