i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
