i already hear my dad disowning me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
