You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize