You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
pray to the hookup gods
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
