I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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