your thong is hanging out like whoa
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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