Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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