My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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