Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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