Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
