I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize