She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
