He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
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