who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize