At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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