He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize