Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
