you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
