How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You were trust falling into bushes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
