His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
