so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize