We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
