Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize