They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
