You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
