I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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