you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize