Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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