I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
