please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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