Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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