yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
