Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize