Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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