dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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