How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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