She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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