Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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