BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
