You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
