Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
