How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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