I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We have started to decorate penises.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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