do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
