i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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