so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
