I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Panties = found
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