I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
