come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize