did you get engaged???
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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