And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
