shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
