Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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