If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am naked and annoyed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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