Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
