So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize