New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize