you guys were way drunker than both of me
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
