Welp...herpes.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
